im six kinds of drunk right now
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
