I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
whose ass print is on the piano?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize