i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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