Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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