Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
