dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
