he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
