I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
