great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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