Banned from zoo.
Again?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Randomize
