i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
