I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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