some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
