He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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