Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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