I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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