I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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