If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
