So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
