the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
