She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
