If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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