Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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