toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
