you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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