If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
