marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
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Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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