he wants to bone in the snuggie
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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