Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
