You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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