nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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