it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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