take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
