ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
