My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
