There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
