That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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