My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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