i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
