i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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