Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Please, let me fuck your mom
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
