Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
