It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
