she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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