In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
