It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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