i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
