apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize