i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
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Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
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I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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