as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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