Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
