Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I have post one night stand depression
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