Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
