i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
