so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
