I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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