Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize