Jerry, you need to find god
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
