Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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