Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I cannot find my penis.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
