i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
