I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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