We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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